the fourth 10

Part 2 of 4

Figuring out what we’ve actually got to work with.

It would seem that the very task of sorting out what is and is not authentic about my current life could be wildly daunting. Taking stock at any point is a challenge, but one of the beauties of taking stock is finding those moments where we discover that what we long to be, we are. Write those moments down! There are so many facets of modern life that can demand exploration.

Is my work a reflection of my ability/skill/passion? Am I stuck in false alliances at work that weigh me down?

Do I feed myself and my family natural foods or are we swamped in processed products? (This one is especially difficult because of the incredible cost of organics in a convenience-based culture.)

Are my relationships with my friends honest?

Am I overly concerned with appearances or creating a picture perfect life? Have I financed a weeklong vacation to Mexico so I can vacation, or so I can appear to vacation (or to afford a vacation)?

Does my marriage appear to be happy, or is it happy?

Are the time and resources I share with my community in keeping with my political/social philosophy?

The iterations are endless.

And then there are the most difficult questions: Am I being kind to appear to be kind, to be opportunistic, or because I am kind? Did I honestly give something today not expecting reciprocity? Did I do so because I wanted to? Did I say I wanted to?

Do I know what I want?
Do I know what motivates me?

Is what motivates me ugly, selfish, and destructive? The most difficult element in the search for authenticity is that, if I’m being completely authentic, sometimes the answer is a definitive yes.

(C) 2009  Elizabeth King     As posted originally on http://lollydaskal.com

PART 1 of 4

The issue:

We find ourselves in an age of personal branding and marketing, of relentless social media and networking, of the end of privacy and the promulgation of a self-crafted identity. An accepted social construct has emerged that allows for endless calls to forget your fears, to embrace your dreams, to listen to your inner voice. And yet in the midst of this media circus we often punctuate the conversation with desperate cries demanding, both for ourselves and of our audience, authenticity.

Merriam Webster defines authentic (albeit in its fifth definition) as “true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character.” I suppose this spirit or character is that which we refer to when we talk about “finding ourselves.” In fact, the very phrase I’m trying to find myself has become ubiquitous in popular culture.

The problem is, though, if you’ve been living in the United States in the past sixty years (and I’m choosing that number arbitrarily for the sake of argument), you’ve been living in a largely inauthentic reality. We live on inauthentic mortgages and credit lines based on inauthentic incomes. We eat mass produced foods that are mere shadows of their original, artisinal selves (think bread-turned-Wonderbread, pasta-turned-Chef-Boyardee, yogurt-turned-GoGurt, Sunday Dinner-turned-Hungry-Man). Our governments operate covertly, allowing us glimpses of their functionality, creating a façade to hide from us international intelligence that one wonders, frankly, if it we’d have any business being exposed to the truth there, anyway.

Our families are more broken than ever and those families live in homes that hope to replicate the great Georgian plantations and the Cape Cod lifestyles of 150 years ago—please excuse the Tyvek and Pergo. We “stage” our homes. We lock our doors.

And then there are ourselves. We botox, dye, and tuck every square inch of ourselves. We binge and purge. We mull over our personal brands. If we stray from the “brand message”, we perceive that we compromise our income-building opportunities. We filter.

And yet we grandstand about authenticity. So? So the problem with authenticity is that it asks that we actually be exactly what we claim to be.

(C) Elizabeth King  As posted originally on LollyDaskal.com